Perfect Hell
by belle dans bleu
Summary: Beyond the veil, Sirius finds the perfect life he's always yearned for. The life he knew he deserved.
1. Behind the Veil

Disclaimer:I do not own anything.

A/N: This is my first WolfStar, I've been reading so many lately that I just had to join in. Please excuse any grammatical errors. I'm looking for a beta, I don't have any crazy demands, I just need someone to help me with the flow of the story and to tie up lose ends as I can over look small things. If you're interested drop me a line. Thanks and I hope you enjoy! =)

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It all happened so fast.

One minute he's raising his wand, about to face off against Bellatrix and then in the blink of an eye, a stray spell struck him in the chest, propelling him backwards. Bellatrix's hateful onyx eyes widened in shock, as his body plummeted towards the sheer blue veil. She threw her hands out to him, as if to catch him, wanting his death to be at _her_ wand.

As if feeling Sirius' panic Remus spun around, his amber eyes wild and confused. Then the realization hit him, his wand slipped from his grasp and he turned his back to the Death Eater he had been dueling to stretch his trembling arms for him. His mouth was shouting, forming his name at the impending loss, tears coursing from his beautiful eyes. As he was almost swallowed up, Harry's messy black head swung in his direction. He pushed his glasses up on his nose, the same way James used to, his green eyes uncomprehending until Sirius was gone from sight.

_James_.

The name popped into his head as once again, he put together the facial similarities of father and son. _James…I'm sorry. I tried to keep them safe._ He closed his eyes against the tears and allowed his body became weightless. The darkness was comforting; sort of. There was no real difference from having his eyes opened or closed. The silence wasn't imposing as it usually was as Grimmauld Place. _What now? _Was he doomed to spend eternity floating –was he technically floating? – around a dark abyss alone with his thoughts? Would there ever be a period in life when he wouldn't be locked in his mind? _This is my hand in life_. He thought sullenly. First, The Most Noble and Ancient house of black; then Azkaban and now this.

_At least this isn't unbearable, _He mused, already having found comfort in the void. There were no dementor's haunting the hallway, sapping the little sanity he had left. There were no screams from other prisoners. In fact, the stillness helped clear his mind unlocking memories he'd thought Azkaban had stolen; they all came floating back to him.

The first time he saw the Hogwarts Express he had been enamored. His parents never spoke of how beautiful the engine was, Andromeda had described it to him when she came home from her first year but her words didn't do the shining beauty justice at all. As young Sirius ran his hand over the cool metal, he knew his life would never be the same. He knew he would find everything he had ever wanted once he set foot on the train, freedom was within his grasp. He had patted the train then, and climbed aboard. He wondered aimlessly until he found a messy haired boy standing in front the compartment window waving at his parents.

James Potter.

He had always been a great friend and a better brother. Charlus and Dorea, his parents, were the parents he'd always wanted to have. They embraced their lineage without flaunting it and when he'd left home, they took him in and treated him no different than James. It wasn't hard to pretend they were a real family. He could remember the going off speech they gave him and James at the beginning of seventh year. They had called him son…

No sooner after Sirius and James introduced themselves; the door was opened and in walked Remus. Oh Remus, his sweet wolf. He was such a scraggly prawn back, then with a mop of tawny hair and shy amber eyes. Peter was right behind Remus, a tousle of blond hair, glinting blue eyes and robes that were a bit tight round the middle; the shy rotund boy could barely stutter his name out that first encounter. He had been such a shy but mischievous boy; a very trusting person and an even better friend. _What happened to you, Pete?_

From that moment on, the compartment had become theirs. After they left the train for the summer, they engraved their initials on the door so everyone knew it belonged to them. Sirius marveled at the genius and audacity of the pranks they pulled together. He relished the detentions they consequentially served after being caught. He remembered the classes he hated and the ones that he loved. Merlin, he'd give anything to go back to those days, to be able to see them all again and have a good laugh. He could suddenly recall the names of the people he passed in the halls every day, his classmates, the ghosts, Peeves.

He'll never see Hogwarts again; he'll never see Grimmauld Place again. (Not that he cared to see that crumbling piece of crap again…mind you, but it was the sentiment behind it.) _What will happen to Harry…? Remus…what will you do without me again?_ His mind raced at all the questions cropping in his mind, all the unsaid things he wanted to tell the people in his life now…wanting to tell Remus he loved him one last time…he'll never get the chance to…

* * *

"Harry!" Her voice pierced the darkness.

_Lily?_ He whipped his head around searching; he'd know that scolding voice anywhere. "Harry, come back!"

"_Lily?" _Sirius tried to called but nothing came out. He twisted this way and that, in his mind he felt himself twisting around yet it didn't feel like he body moved at all. "_Lily!"_

"Harry," Lily laughed. "Quiet down or you're going wake your father and the boys!"

"_Lily!"_ He yelled again, the frantic need to see her, to find her again.

An energy shift fizzled in the darkness and the air started to buzz around him. A light breeze blew across his face and he closed his eyes, taking a deep breath. He could smell fresh air, flowers and herbs, he could _taste _the grass, and he could feel the warmth of the sun on his back. He could faintly hear birds under the faint rustling of trees. It almost felt like he wasn't in the void anymore. Harry's joyful laughter drifted from somewhere and the light thud of his feet against their wooden floorboards grew louder.

The ground beneath his feet began to take shape and solidify; the sound of everything became sharper. With a violent tilt, the world snapped into place around him. Surprised, his eyes sprang open to be greeted by the sight of the wooden door at Godric's Hallow; he'd only seen the place twice before, but he'd recognize James' door anyway.

Sirius spun around; the sun was setting in the horizon and muggles were still milling about on the streets. He looked down at his hands, they were younger, unblemished from his self inflicted madness in prison. He raised his hands to his face then rushed to peer into a window, he was young again! He twisted this way and that, he still wore the robes he'd left Grimmauld Place in, but he looked no older than 23 and his hair was healthy again. _Oh Merlin, thank you, thank you thank you!_ He groped himself gratefully, his hands stopping in his thick locks to firmly grip the roots; he beamed at his reflected self.

A crash resounded from inside and Lily began shouting again. He moved back in front the door, adrenal flushing his system. What was going on? Where was he? Hesitantly, he raised his hand and knocked on the door. What was he going to find? He heard Harry's feet running to the door and the heavier but undeniable gait that was Lily following after him. The door swung open, revealing a twenty-something year old Lily; her red hair swept into a sloppy bun dressed in an oversized grey sweatshirt along with comfortably worn jeans. Her face was happy and her mouth was opening as if to greet someone else but her jaw dropped and her emerald eyes bugged as her took him.

She grasped her chest and took a step back, "Sirius?" She whispered, as if too afraid to say his name aloud.

"It's me." He smiled, suddenly unsure of himself.

A myriad of emotions flashed across her face, "JAMES!" she screeched out before she pulling him in a tight bone-crushing hug. "Oh Sirius!" She breathed, squeezing him tighter, "JAMES!" she hollered again, jumping up and down, "Oh, Merlin, Sirius...it's actually you." He wasn't sure if was humanly possible for her arms to tighten around him yet it did and he hugged her just as tight, ignoring the ringing in his ear from her yell. It was Lily, and she was here and alive. He couldn't even summon the memory of the last time he held her.

"Lily! What is it?" James appeared, sleep wrinkled, glasses askew and his wand pointing wildly. His eyes looked around uncontrollably before settling on the open door. His jaw dropped and a look of awe and relief took hold of his face, before Sirius could blink twice, James' arms were crushing them all together.

"Brother!"

"Brother!" Sirius shifted an arm from around Lily to slide it around James; they were all shaking, and slowly the tears came.

"Mummy…Daddy…is everything alright?" Harry asked staring at them with wide, teary eyes. The little boy wasn't sure what was happening; he'd never seen his parents like that before usually he was the one crying.

The three adults untangled themselves and James swiftly wiped his eyes, "Everything is fine buddy." He squatted and gestured for the six year old to join them. Slowly the toddler edged closer to them, wearily eyeing Sirius. "Harry, do you remember me telling you about my brother?"

"Uncle Sirius?" He asked, shyly looking up at James before turning his wide delighted green eyes on Sirius. Sirius closed his eyes abruptly, as his heart constricted and hot tears prickled his eyes, this was how it was supposed to been. He was _supposed_ to be Uncle Sirius.

"Yea, well mate, this is him."

Swiping at his eyes, Sirius squatted also, and gave the scruffy haired boy his best smile, "Hello Harry. It's nice to meet you."

Harry smiled shyly back, "Hi Uncle Sirius."

"How old are you?"

"I'm six. Are you old like my parents?"

"Oi! I'm not that old." James said with a pout, poking the toddler until he giggled.

"I'm actually a bit older than you dad." Sirius boasted, puffing his chest out.

They laughed at him, "Same old Sirius." Lily smiled. "Come on, let's go inside."

The two men stood from obscuring the doorway, allowing the redhead into the house. She led the way into the kitchen followed by her husband and son. Instead of following them, the young Black took his time to look around. He'd only been inside the house once but that was when James had first bought the place and it hadn't been furnished yet. Bits of Harry's toys were scattered in a corner and a mini toy broom was haphazardly thrown on the couch. They still had the couch that he'd sent them from the muggle store. Fingering it quietly, he trailed his finger along the line of the love set. The matching chair sat to the left of the hearth. A table housing the wizarding wireless and a jar of floo powder sat on the other side. The fire was raging under a mantle littered with pictures.

On the mantle were several pictures: one of the three of them, taken within the last year, another was of them after Hogwarts. They were all grinning at waving at the camera, Sirius picked that one up and looked at it closer. James had an arm around his shoulder and the other around Remus, Peter was in front of them giving thumbs up to the picture taker. _I wonder if Remus and I ever got together?_ He ran his thumb over Remus' face before putting it back. The next picture was of Remus, he looked the age they all were, and was being embraced (rather fiercely) by two boys that looked to be Harry's age. The three of them were beaming up at him. The boys barely resembled Remus; they both looked like younger versions of his brother. _Oh no,_ he thought back to his cousin Tonks, and her blatant infatuation with his lycanthrope friend _Are these…their boys?_

He turned his back on the mantle, fighting back the tears. _Of course_, _a world where James and Lily are alive and Remus is straight. Maybe spending eternity in darkness wasn't so bad. At least then I'd have memories of Remus_. His mind began to race, what exactly happened behind the veil? Did it somehow bring him to an alternate universe? Maybe he wasn't real at all. _Only one way to test that theory_. Crouching down to the fire; he glanced back to the kitchen entrance then stuck his hand in the flame. It burnt! He snatched his hand to his chest, satisfied that this was real. It had to be!

"Uncle Sirius! Tea's ready!" Harry yelled, pulling him from his mind.

He slowly made his way to the kitchen, trying to pull himself together. James and Harry were already sitting with a cup in front of them and another was seated across from Harry who lit up at the first sight of him, "Uncle Sirius, sit there!" He pointed to the other seat with a grin.

He beamed back to the boy and sat down. "So, do you laze around the house like a posh man instead of work, Prongs?"

The other man scoffed, "I wish. I just spend my days toiling away working for the aurors. It's not fun work, but someone has to do it."

"You're an auror!?" Suddenly, after he said it, it felt like the wrong thing to say. Lily and James paused their actions and to give him an odd look.

"You're an auror, too." James said slowly, "Well…you were until you disappeared."

"W-what do you mean I was an auror?" He stuttered, smiling vaguely, his mind conjured a picture of how he would look in those magenta robes. Oh how his mother probably hated that. A Black…an auror.

James and Lily exchanged looks, "Of course you're an auror." She said.

"You mean you've forgotten?" He looked puzzled.

"Err…" How could he remember something that never happened for him? Just how farfetched was the idea of alternate realities in this world? "I…I don't remember." He murmured, lowering his gaze from theirs.

"You mean, you don't remember doing that dodgy mission with that shady bloke from the Department of Mysteries? Ashby only told me that you went on a mission. No more, no less."

"I don't remember. H-how long have I been gone?"

"Almost six years." James said lowly, "The last time I saw you, you gave me and Lily a dance and then you were gone. Not a word in five long years." He could hear the pain in James' voice, and it made his stomach clench unpleasantly.

"But that doesn't matter now." Lily spoke up, looking between the two of them. "All that matters now is that you're back. I know the boys will be glad to have you back."

They made eye contact and exchanged soft smiles, "Speaking of the boys', how's Pete?"

"That rat's in jail!" The redhead turned back to her pot. "And good riddance!"

"What happened?" '_Could it be?' _his heart thumped waiting for her to continue.

"So get this," James stared, shaking his head in disbelief, "another so called dark wizard decided he wanted to finish what Grindelwald started. He had a few followers, people like Lucius Malfoy, your cousin Bellatrix, and Peter. Lucius tried to get Severus to join but when he heard about what he wanted to do to us, he went to Dumbledore and the aurors got involved. They tried to attack us but they were already waiting for him. With Malfoy not funding the group, Voldemort lost followers and last we heard he fled to Scotland."

Sirius whooped and banged the table triumphantly, "That arse got what he deserved!"

Harry giggled, "Uncle Sirius swore."

"Yes he did Harry, and I never want to hear you repeat that." James said sternly, giving Harry his best stern fatherly look.

Harry nodded, "I promise daddy, I'll never swear."

"I'm not so sure about that little Prongs. One day, you're going to solemnly swear you're up to no good, and you'll have broken that promise." James and Sirius erupted into laughter. Lily glanced over her shoulder, her face a mask of confusion and Harry looked oddly between the two.

"A story for another day." James assured, beaming at the best friend he thought he'd lost.

"And uh…"he cleared his throat, the smile fading from his face as he thought about his werewolf. "How's Remus?"

"He's great!" Prongs nodded genuinely, "He works at a _library_. Typical Moony, eh? He should be coming by soon actually. It's a full tonight."

A full moon. Sirius' heart panged, at least this Remus had someone to run with. His Remus was alone. Again. Then he thought back to the picture on the mantle with Remus and the two boys. "Did he ever find someone?"

"Remus?" Lily scoffed.

"Uncle Prongs…" a soft voice whined from the doorway; a little boy, no older than Harry stood in pyjamas, a stuffed dog tucked under his arm. His shaggy black hair was mussed from having just woken up. He trudged towards the older brunet and climbed onto his lap. "Why did you leave?" He yawned rubbing his eyes. Sirius felt his heart stop, as he looked at him.

"I'm sorry Reggie. Did that wake you?"

He nodded, leaning his face on James' chest. "Plus Corvy kept stealing the blankets."

James laughed and rubbed his back. "I'm sorry Reggie."

Reggie smiled drowsily at Harry before his gaze landed on Sirius. He crinkled his nose and his eyes lit up with recognition. "Who are you?" He asked, any trace of sleep gone from his face.

"That's Uncle Sirius!" Harry shouted jubilantly.

Reggie's jaw dropped as he stared at Sirius. "_The _Sirius?"

Harry nodded, "The one and the only."

Sirius blanched under the young boy's impressed and awed gaze. It was like staring into Regulus' eyes after he'd do something bold and dramatic. "Ahem." He cleared his throat, squirming. "I feel like a celebrity."

"The way James and Remus talks about you, you might as well be." Lily sniggered.

James flushed, but grinned. "We're legends at Hogwarts, Padfoot. I'm just setting our boys off on the right foot."

"Uncle Prongs? Aunt Lily?" A voice whined from the hallway. Reggie's twin appeared wearing matching pyjamas with hair that could rival Harry's, rubbing his eyes. "I woke up and no one wa-" He froze in the threshold of the doorway, his eyes glued to where Sirius was sitting at the table. "Who are you?" He asked in a panic. "What's going on here?" A sheen of sweat appeared on his forehead, as he began backing away from the entrance.

"Corvus, what wrong?" Lily flew to his side, stopping him with a hand on the shoulder.

"He's-he's a bad man!" His chest was rising rapidly. "I want my daddy!" He closed his eyes as tears began to slide down his cheeks.

Lily looked back at James and then Sirius flabbergasted, "It's alright, sweetie." She picked him up and disappeared down the hall.

James, Sirius, Reggie and Harry sat in stunned silence. "Did I…did I do something?"

"No!" Reggie yelled almost instantly, his eyes laden with fear. He looked to where Lily disappeared and shook his head, "it's nothing you did."

"Reggie, is there something going on you should tell me?" James asked slowly, turning the boy to look into his eyes.

"No, Uncle James." He tucked his chin into his chest, "It's a secret twin thing but it's nothing bad."

"Then why did he act like that? He liked hearing about Sirius in the stories." Reggie closed his eyes and sucked his lips between his teeth. James sighed once the silence stretched, "Ok. As long as you promise me he's alright."

"He's great, Uncle James." He flashed him a Siriusesque grin causing James to laugh.

"Lily!" a familiar voice sing-songed from the sitting room, "Where is my favorite redhead and my nephew?"

"Uncle Remus!" Harry yelled, hopping from his chair and dashing to the sitting room.

"Daddy!" Reggie leapt from James' lap and took off after Harry. They playful shoved and pushed each other giggling madly into the living room.

Remus expelled a gust of air and his hearty laugh drifted in, "An' hello to you too, boys. Reggie, I didn't expect to see you awake."

Sirius could hear Reggie's large grin, "We have a guest!"

"Oh yes," Harry chimed in. "The magnificent legend himself." James rolled his eyes at Harry's embellishment, causing Sirius to shoot him a smug smirk.

"Boys…"his voice grew louder, "Who are you talking about?"

"…Sirius." They said in unison. Remus froze in the doorway, both boys tucked under his arms. He looked like his world had stopped, his breathing turned shallow and his mouth hung open. He didn't blink as his eyes swept over the prone form wide eyed form of Sirius at the table.

"Is something the matter?" Harry asked confused. He and Reggie looked at each other, baffled but the change in Remus was clear.

"Dad?"

He sat them down slowly, unblinkingly. He walked to Sirius, taking deep breaths the closer he got. Instinctively, Sirius stood and they embraced each other tightly. "You're alive!" He breathed, eyes closed tight.

"I'm sorry. I'm so sorry for everything" He murmured, quaking. _Remus. Remus. Remus._ He was here and in his arms again. Warm, cleanly, wolfy Remus. He had to refrain himself from wanting to do more; his body yearned for more, but he couldn't come between Remus and his…partner.

"Daddy! What are you doing!?" Corvus exclaimed. Lily stood in the hallway, with the toddler cradled in her arms. She was giving them a sly look, while Corvus looked nauseated.

Remus pulled back, the large grin he was sporting disappeared at the sight of a flushed and upset Corvus. "Baby, what's the matter!" He rushed to grab him from Lily and cooed softly to him. Corvus wrapped his arms securely around Remus then proceeded to rub his face all over the places that smelt like Sirius. From the corner of his eye he could see James shoot Reggie a meaningful look.

"Let's have dinner, shall we? Would you mind setting the table dear?"

"Sure thing, love." James whipped out his wand and made a show of having the soup bowls dance from the cabinets; the spoons did the hula from the drawer. The flatware danced around the table while the napkins walked like Egyptians around the table. Harry and Reggie laughed, moving away from Remus' side and mimicked the dances. James conjured another chair at the table then plopped down in the head chair.

When the bowls and spoons settled down, Reggie raced across the table, sitting directly across from Sirius, his identical silver eyes boring into the older man's. Harry took the chair on his left, staring intently at Sirius also. James laughed while Sirius looked uncomfortable with all the attention. Remus sat the farthest from Sirius, with Corvus perched on his lap as the little boy threw a tantrum every time Remus would try to put him down.

"Dinner is served gentlemen." She waved her wand over the pot and the bowls filled with various portions of stew. Taking the seat next to Sirius, she and James exchanged a concerned look as everyone tucked in.


	2. Reunited In theory

Disclaimer: I don't own it. Also, I borrowed the shapeshifting idea from Charlene Harris. However, the topic will be touched on in a later chapter.

A/N: Please excuse all grammatical errors.

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Dinner had gone very well all things considered; Reggie and Harry had kept up their intent staring until Lily noticed Sirius' uncomfortable shifting, she scolded them; but they resorted to whispering behind their chubby little hands, accompanied by the occasional giggle shooting fleeting glances his way. Lily and James kept up a light banter, regaling him with stories about the boys. If he, at all, dared to glance down the table to stare at Remus, who didn't contribute the conversation, Corvus would send him a death glare and squirm uncomfortably. When dinner was finished, James made another show of sending the flatware into the sink while Lily ushered the energetic boys into the living room quickly followed by Corvus, pulling insistently at Remus' wrist; leaving James and Sirius sitting at the table in a semi-strained silence with the dishes soft clinks the only sounds in the room.

"So," James started, his hazel gaze taking him in, the messy haired brunet was grateful to his wife, she knew how badly he'd wanted to talk their long lost friend. "You really don't remember being an auror?"

Sirius' eyes instantly dropped to the table, "No…" What does one say in this situation? Just how much could he divulge before James ruled everything he was saying as insane and had him carted off to St. Mungo's? "At least…what I remember doesn't exactly go along with anything that would be familiar to you."

James pulled his wand from his pocket and waved it at the doorway, casting a muffliato spell and a repelling charm. "Sirius, please," He stared at him seriously, his tone quiet and pleading. "I want to know."

The other brunet closed his eyes and sighed heavily. _Here goes._ "You _died_ Jamie…and Lily. Peter…. _I _convinced you that he should be the secret keeper…and he told Voldemort where you were." Sirius clenched his fists until his knuckles turned white. His whole body shook as he remembered showing up at Godric's Hollow… "They thought it was _me_. Fucking everyone thought I'd been done in by the Black Madness. My bloody mum showed up at my trial, boasting that she 'always knew I'd do what was right, what was expected of the family'." He shook his head with a snarl, trying to banish how smug she'd looked. "Twelve years….I rotted in that jail. Twelve long, treacherous years…I was trapped to relive my failure as brother."

Warm hands on his forced his eyes open and up to look into James' troubled face. "Sirius…_who_ would ever believe _you_ would do such a thing? Everyone knows that we're brothers in every way that counts! You would never!"

"I know," the long-haired man whispered back, his eyes closing again. "But…bloody fucking _Dumbledore_ was at my trial speaking against me. His vote was the nail in my coffin."

"Sirius." James' stern and fatherly voice shook him and the hands around his tightened. "I don't know what happened to you over the last few years and I can't say I want to know. However, I really and truly believe that mission you were sent on was a set up. Do you remember Ashby?" Sirius shrugged, so he continued. "Well, we found out not too long after you'd disappeared, that he was deep in Malfoy's back pocket. He'd been sending people to their death for years. Maybe you told Ashby your suspicions about Peter and he panicked. To hide his involvement with the death eaters, he sent you into an ambush with one of the shadiest fucks in the ministry. I mean, those blokes in the Department of Mysteries are allowed to with hold information for 'national security' and I never met the guy you were working with, because you had to keep everything under wraps. I believe Ashby sent you with that bloke and he left you there to die.

"I think they kept you alive to torture you, to try and break the illustrious Black heir. And they fed you lies, so even if you did survive, you wouldn't want to come back here because you believed what they were telling you. Then those sorry fucks got caught and without the constant mental abuse, you're mind slowly began to recover allowing you to come to the last place you felt safe. _Here_. I can't imagine how you got here or how you made it with those lies eating away at you. But you're here, now. My brother, my best friend and my partner. I know I can trust you with my life."

A tear slipped from Sirius' eyes and he gripped James' hand as if it were his last life line; the words washed over him, cleansing him. This…_this_ was what he'd wanted—needed—to hear. This was the acknowledgement that had, finally, lifted the darkness from his soul. "Maybe you're right, Jamie." He could _almost_ believe him. If he hadn't spent the last 15 years decaying in his personal hell, he'd have easily been able to get caught up in this lie.

"I must be," He smirked. "You're calling me Jamie."

Sirius threw his head back and laughed his loud, barking laugh that rumbled his belly. James joined him too, his hands clenching around the other mans'. "You've always had an uncanny way of being right Jamie."

James gave him a crooked smile, "Indeed, and to prove I'm right. I'm going straight to ol' Mad Eye first thing tomorrow. I'll have him set up a meeting with some healers and they'll tell you that what you think you've experienced was an intense hallucination brought on by being a prisoner of war."

"Let's hope you're right." Sirius smiled back at him, feeling lighter than he ever remembered feeling. He hadn't felt this good since Hogwarts.

"I think your adoring fans have something to say." James thrust he chin in the direction of the doorway, and Sirius grinned as he saw Harry and Reggie, a safe distance from the repelling charm, dancing from foot to foot, and eager expressions of their faces.

"I don't think I'll ever get used to that." He chuckled, shaking his head.

"I always knew you were going to comeback. I wanted it to be as though you never left. Our boys deserve to know you."

"_Our _boys?" He asked curiously. When James had said it early, he'd taken the man to mean that as Marauder's, who shared everything in their youth, it was only natural that they would share the responsibility of child-rearing too, but something in his tone made hope stir in his belly.

"Yeah…You're going to have to talk to Moony about that one."

"So you mean, he's …er…"

"No, he hasn't switched teams; if that's what you're asking." He shook his head with a laugh, and then waved his wand at the door. No sooner than the wards fell, did both boys' come hurtling into the room.

"Mum says it's almost moon time!" Harry shouted, in the way children do when they're excited. He turned his bright green eyes on Sirius, "Will you be running with them, Uncle Sirius?"

He'd almost forgotten about the full moon but then he remembered Remus' warm welcome and subsequent snubbing after Corvus expressed his strong dislike for him. "If I'm welcomed." He said uneasily.

Reggie turned to him, his silver eyes wide, "You should come with us! I know it'll be fun."

"You-" he faltered not wanting to show the ache he felt at the boy's words, "You're a werewolf too?" That must have destroyed Remus on the boy's first moon. Remus would never pass this curse on to his worst enemy. He couldn't begin to imagine what the tawny-haired man felt knowing he'd cursed his son.

Reggie nodded proudly, "I'm a different kind of werewolf! Daddy doesn't know why I'm different but he doesn't feel as bad for me as he does for Corvy. But please say you'll come." He pouted, giving Sirius the full extent of the puppy-eyes he used to don during his school days.

_Oh Merlin!_ He thought, as he felt his insides melt at that look. How could anyone say no to such a sweet face? James laughed loudly and Harry sniggered behind his little hand, breaking the intense stare down. "Reggie, why don't you go ask your dad first?" James suggested.

"Right!" he took off running into the living room, Harry quick on his heels.

"We should get going." James stood, gesturing for him to follow. They walked into the living room together as Harry settled himself on the arm of Lily's chair; she glanced up from her knitting to give him a soft smile. Remus sat on the love seat opposite the fire with Corvus on his lap, looking as if he was waiting for death to take him. His skin was grey with an unhealthy sheen of sweat on his forehead and he was shaking in pain, if his grimace was any indicator and his eyes were closed as he relished in the comforting strokes of his back.

"Uh oh." Lily quickly averted her eyes, spying the cute pout on Reggie's innocent face. She knew firsthand the trouble that could ensue from that look.

Remus looked up from his ministrations while Reggie was sidling up to him. He frowned instantly, eyeing first Harry then his son. "Yes, Reggie?"

"Daddy…" he looked down and scuffed the tip of his toe on the carpet, "Is it ok if Sirius joins us tonight?"

The atmosphere immediately became tense as Corvus' eyes shot open and he leveled his brother with a glare. "Absolutely not." He sneered, his silver eyes slid over to Sirius standing next to James, then back to his twin. "I don't want him there."

"Good thing it's not up to you." The cute face dropped and the two boys glared each other down.

"I don't want to cause a fuss." Sirius brokered awkwardly, rubbing the back of his neck. "I can stay here with Lily…its fine." He didn't want to cause strife between them. He'd only hoped…

"Enough." Remus growled, breaking the eye-lock. The boys' instantly cowed, both of them dropped their heads and their bodies took on a submissive posture. "I've entertained this nonsense long enough Corvus. You have no reason to treat Sirius this way at all and your brother is right, it's not up to you." The twin in question folded into himself and burrowed deeper into Remus' chest. "Sirius, I would love if you can join us."

"Rem-"

"Really, I insist." Their eyes met and they smiled softly to each other. Corvus let out a pained groan as heavy pulses of uncontrolled magic begun to roll off of him in waves. "It's almost time." Remus sighed.

"So it appears." Lily said solemnly, sitting aside the wool and needles, she stood. Remus cradled Corvus to his chest as he also stood, Reggie and Harry embraced tightly and they giggled to each other before Harry moved to hug Remus and pat Corvus comfortingly on his leg.

"Good night Aunt Lily!" Reggie held her tightly and she dropped a kiss on his head.

"Good night, dear." She moved to Remus and gently caressed Corvus' head, before kissing him as well.

"Thanks for dinner Lily, it was wonderful."

She smiled, "It's never a problem Remus." They hugged as best as possible, "Have a good moon."

"I'll see you in the morning." James grinned pulling her into a kiss and dipping her. She laughed and swatted his arm after he righted her. He bent over and picked up Harry, swinging him around. "Take care of mum, yeah?"

He giggled when he was placed back on the ground, "Of course, daddy. I promise." He puffed his chest up and beamed up at his doppelganger.

"Atta boy."

"Good night Uncle Sirius!" He yelled, and dashed to throw himself into his arms.

Corvus groaned again and the magic pelting off of him doubled. "We really should get going." Remus warned.

Harry went back to Lily's side and she just waved, "Have fun." She mouthed to Sirius, worriedly glancing at Corvus. He nodded and shuffled to join them at the hearth. Once again, he felt unsure of himself he didn't want to make any one upset…this was only his first day back but he would never turn down a chance to run with his old friends. Whatever ill feelings Corvus had would settle eventually.

He stood awkwardly next to James, hands in his trouser pocket when he caught Reggie's eyes. He was beaming in encouragement and shimmying in excitement. That lifted his spirit some; making him wonder again about who their mother could possibly be. How long would it take before he found out?

"The port key's about to be activated," James cautioned. Everyone hurried to put their hands on the figurine then a second later it hummed to life. They arrived outside a small two story cottage with a wraparound porch surrounded by thick woods. Remus undressed Corvus and laid him on his side on the ground. James and Reggie followed suit, folding their clothes neatly into a pile.

Sirius blushed and slowly began to strip. Trying and failing to not let his eyes ogle Remus; he'd missed this stage of Remus' body and couldn't help an appreciative glance or two. _You shouldn't be perving on him with his sons' right-bloody-there! _Corvus whined as the first signs of the change started. His little puppy whines turned to growls as the loud crunch of bones rippled through the night air.

Quickly Sirius shifted back into the familiar form of Padfoot while James changed to Prongs. Remus' howl followed as his crunch of bones joined Corvus'. Reggie's change happened much faster, almost as fast as he and Prongs had change but he didn't have long to dwell on this. Corvus and Remus howled again and his attention was back to the little boy. The first time he had seen Remus changed, he'd vomited, it was so horrible to see his skin vibrate under the shift of bones, but to see Corvus' skin shiver and his spine painfully elongated was terrifying. Sirius couldn't help but to think of little Remus going through this along in a cage layered with silver.

The little black wolf pup tackled his twin, distracting the little wolf from turning on himself. They rolled onto the grass as little limbs became legs covered in matching black fur; his anguish filled childish howls became the young yap of a pup. The two wolf pups rolled around in the grass, nipping and barking at each other then not a moment later he was knocked over and greeted by a happy werewolf followed by an overzealous stag.

'_By far, one of the best nights ever,'_ Sirius thought tiredly as he pulled his clothes on. To be able to run so freely as Padfoot again, without the fear of being caught—was an experience he would never take for granted again. And with his pack no less! They had run Reggie and Corvus ragged, the puppies had a hard time trying to keep up with the over enthusiastic adults, but they did a good job. To make sure they didn't lose them, the adults would stop at a clearing and wait. Reggie was always the first to come bowling through, instantly he would run to Padfoot and sniff at him, then bark in excitement, wanting to play. Then Corvus would show up and tackle him barking sharply. Moony, as alpha, would growl in warning and nip the little wolf's tail to show that Padfoot belonged in their pack. It was exhausting but refreshing and sort of cute. Part of him wished the night would never end; however, dawn crept up on them and the two wolf pups collapsed into a heap of exhausted pale limbs.

"I've got to try and get some sleep before work." James yawned with a stretch. "Would you mind if Sirius helped you with the boys? Oh, and can he stay here?" He grinned sheepishly, "You know Harry wouldn't let him sleep."

"Sure." Remus yawned, picking up Corvus. "Grab him for me, please." He gestured his chin to Reggie, who was starting to rouse at the absence of his twin's warmth.

Sirius picked up the toddler, and he curled into his body, sighing contentedly. He felt his heart clench and he gaze down wonderingly at the boy. This felt so _right_. He now began to envy Remus' significant other. He'd never told anyone how badly he'd wanted a child. He caught James' eye, who was giving him a knowing smirk.

"Good day gents, I imagine I'll be seeing you for dinner." He gave a nod to Remus before disappearing.

"Follow me." The tawny haired man led him into the house and straight up the stairs to a bedroom. The walls were painted blue and had quidditch players from different teams zooming around. The ceiling was enchanted to show the pale early morning sky. Book cases lines the wall, and toys littered a corner of the room. Remus laid Corvus down on the bed then gestured for him to place Reggie down as well. The moment they were both on the bed, they situated themselves to sleep back to back.

"Why do they sleep like that?"

Remus shrugged as he waved his wand over the boys, cleaning the dirt and forest from their skin and hair. "I think it's a twin thing. I tried getting them into separate beds but I always found them sleeping on the floor like this." He yawned, banishing the dirty clothes and dressing them in clean pajamas. "It's easier this way." Leaning down, Remus pulled the blanket to their chin and kissed them each.

"Your room is down the hall." Remus gestured for him to follow and he led him down the hall to a small plainly dressed room. "Well…I'll see you later." He smiled softly and made his way back to the room across the hall from the boys' room.

* * *

He was falling again—or would it technically be floating?—drowning in the abyss.

He was unsure whether yesterday happened or not: Remus, the boys, James, Lily and Harry.

Was that all a dream?

_Of course_, he thought bitterly, _this place is going to deliver me right to the threshold of insanity._ He closed his eyes again, willing his conscious to conjure the image of the people he'd been with not so long ago but nothing happened. _I want to be back in Azkaban. Godric please let me wake up in Azkaban._

The hair on the back of his neck stood up as he felt familiar eyes on him. This was a gaze he could never forget, never escape, even in his wildest dreams he'd know those eyes anywhere. He looked around, half expecting her to jump out at him, but saw nothing in the darkness. The stare became more chilling and a light laughter started to echo off his eardrums. Sirius jolted awake, shaking.

_That_ was a dream.

He was back in reality, back to the bed in Remus' spare room not floating again, not back in that hell hole. The warning sensation of someone staring prickled him again and his eyes locked on to the young boy at the entrance of the room.

Corvus stood still in the doorway, his wide unblinking grey eyes staring at Sirius as the hand clutching a stuffed niffler shook lightly. They stared at each other, occasionally blinking owlishly. _What am I supposed to say?_

"Corvus, did you wake him yet!" Remus yelled before he appeared in the doorway behind him. "Oh, good afternoon Sirius!" he caressed the back of the boys' head, "Brunch is ready. Go wash up! The both of you." He commanded leaving just as fast as he'd materialized.

Corvus stood watching him just a moment longer before he walked away stiffly. _'What's up with that kid?'_ He shook his head, getting off the bed. He walked from the room wondering where the bathroom was. Thank Merlin the door was open and he hurried in when the weight in his bladder became too much to bear.

After leaving the bathroom, Sirius wandered down the stairs pausing to look around the living room. From what he saw, Remus' house was littered with pictures of the boys and the Potter's. Several of them were pictures from their Hogwarts' days but most of the pictures of were of the twins and Harry; he stopped to touch a picture of Remus and the boys. They looked so happy together. They were so beautiful.

"Didn't I tell you not to do that again?" Remus' voice chided, getting Sirius' attention away from the college of pictures. "Just because you're cute doesn't mean I won't punish you." Peeking around the corner, Sirius saw Remus with both hands on his hips hovering over a sullen black pup with a ham steak sitting in front of him. "Now go get washed up for breakfast." He pointed down the hall and the pup walked off, his ears pasted on his head, head bowed and tail tucked between his legs.

Noticing Sirius at the end of the hallway, the puppy barked happily and ran to him. He jumped up and around his legs, rubbing his cold moist nose into his ankles. The black haired man bent down and picked him up, smiling as the puppy licked his fingers. "Hello, again." Remus smiled, banishing the steak from the floor.

"Hello, again. What did this cute little thing do to upset you?" He cooed, tickling the spot behind the writhing animal's ear, the same spot he loved when Remus tickled him as Padfoot.

"He tried to sneak extra food for him and his brother."

"You have another puppy?" He answered, unthinkingly, cuddling the sweet whining puppy.

Corvus stepped around him into the room, his eyes landing on Sirius and the pup. "Sit down Corvy." He sat at the table, glaring at the ball of yipping fur. Remus grabbed the pot from the stove and began to heap meat on the plates'. "You can have a seat." He told Sirius.

"Shouldn't we wait for your other son?"

Corvus rolled his eyes and crossed his arms. Remus smirked at him, and went back to stove to get another pot, and spooned that onto the plates next to the meat, "You're holding him."

He felt the shimmer of magic and the puppy grew heavier and became a little boy with a broad smile on his lips. "Hi, I'm Regulus." He extended his hand, "Sorry we didn't get a good chance to talk last night; between Harry, Uncle James, Corvus and y'know…the moon an all." Sirius shook his hand, his thoughts to busy chasing each other around. Reggie was short for Regulus? He should have known…Remus did get together with Tonks after all. Reggie shimmied from Sirius' arms and went to join his brother.

"Regulus," Remus shot him a little glare, "I told you to go wash up," The little boy pouted then shifted back into the wolf and ran up to the bathroom. "And you better come back in here on two legs!" He shouted after him.

"How can he do that?" Sirius gaped, he was an animagus. A shape shifter at just six. He remembered Tonks was a metamorphagus…but…shape shifting required more power than changing features. How can someone be so powerful at such a young age?

"We're not sure." Remus sat down at the head of the table and picked up his fork with a smile small. "They attribute it to their odd parentage."

Regulus came back, looking cleaner and took the seat next his brother digging into the food. He joined them at the table, nervously clearing his throat, "And who is their mother?"

"Let's talk about that later." Remus blushed, starting to eat quietly.

"Remus! We're here!" Lily called followed by the eager footsteps of Harry running to the kitchen. The twins looked up from their food in joy.

"What are you doing here, Harry?" Corvus grinned as he and Reggie pushed their seats together, making room for their friend to join them comfortably.

"We're going to the zoo today!"

The twins' eyes widened in surprise and they turned to Remus who grinned at them, "The sooner you finish eating the sooner you'll be able to watch the animals." They pushed their plates together and began to scarf down their food, slipping some to Harry when Lily and Remus began to converse.

It was amusing watching the three of them; it was as if they were triplets instead of twins. Sirius could picture himself and James, just like these young mischievous boys, had they been given a chance to grow up together and he couldn't help his smile. Corvus met his eye and gave him a withering glare before hurrying to eat.

Barely five minutes later, the three boys pelted up the stairs to change clothes among the excited chatter of what animal they wanted to see first. Lily smiled, "Did you have fun last night? James wouldn't stop talking about the run this morning."

Remus laughed. "It was great, felt like old times."

Sirius felt Lily's gaze on him. "What he said." He grinned; words couldn't describe how he felt. But he agreed with what Remus said.

"I'm glad it was good for you guys. James hinted that you two may have needed time to talk; it was Harry that suggested we take the boys to the zoo. Thanks for agreeing."

Remus shrugged, "They deserve it." The boys came thundering back down the steps, dressed in muggle attire similar to Harry's.

"We're ready dad!"

"And we dressed ourselves!"

"And I helped!" Harry grinned along with the boys.

"So you did. I think that deserves an ice cream." Remus summoned his wallet and took out several notes. "Get the boys something sweet, please Lily."

Corvus' smile instantly dropped from his face and a look of panic bell his face, "You're not coming with us dad?" he glanced at Sirius then leveled his father with a serious stare.

Remus gave him serious stare of his own. "No Corvus. I'll be staying here with Sirius. He and I need to have a talk."

The troubled look heightened on the young boys face and he looked worriedly at Sirius, before crossing his arms. "Then I'm not going."

"Corvus!" Reggie and Harry exclaimed in horror.

"Corvus Sirius Black," Remus glared at him, pushed his chair back and stood to his full height, "I am your father, and you will do as I say."

Corvus deflated and his shuffled out of the kitchen. Lily and Sirius' eyes met and she gave him a helpless look, "Well," she cleared her throat. "We'll be on our way then, Remus. Dinner again, tonight?

He nodded stiffly as she ushered the boys out of the kitchen into the living room. Amber met Silver and Remus gave him an uncomfortable smile.


End file.
